Live too Much

Is it possible to live too much? If you feel as though you have accomplished all that you want in the first quarter of your existence, are you left with nothing but discontentment for the remaining years? I worry, often, that I'll never be as happy as I was in the years leading up to twenty-six and I find myself constantly looking for new,exciting adventures to top the ones I've already had.

To some girls or, in my case, 'women', they look forward to the 'adventures' of marriage and raising a family. I feel ashamed that those type of milestones  have rarely crossed my mind. I admit that I've never been baby crazy or contemplated the colors of my future bridesmaid dresses. Does this make me strange or less of a woman? Maybe so.

I yearn to travel, explore new cultures and meet exciting people. I wake up sweating and shaking, feeling trapped by the ceiling above my head. It takes an act of God to keep me seated at my desk at work. What the hell is wrong with me? Have a made myself this discontented? What is the cure for a restless soul?

Walking the Line

Yesterday morning I finally did what I had worked so hard to achieve and gave up so many hours of sleep and sanity to accomplish--I graduated college!! As I shook hands with a line up of regents that I'd never heard in my entire college career and smiled with the president of the university after receiving my "diploma", it occurred to me--all of my dedication was worth it!

My family surrounded me in a tidal wave after commencement was over and I took over a dozen photos with each one of them until their excitement and pride was satisfied. After a celebration dinner with all of the loved ones who supported or, at times, pushed me during college, it was time to go home and face what I had been dreading all day--time.

Time is a funny thing in that you can either use it to your advantage or it can get away from you and make you realize how much of it you've wasted. Although I spent two years of my time traveling, working full time and healing from the loss of my father, I do not consider it time wasted. The indefinite time in front of me, however long that really is, is absolutely terrifying. Throughout college, I've done well because I've had a framework in which I used to guide me through my decisions. Teachers, mentors and class schedules pushed me where I was meant to be--the School of Journalism & Broadcasting.  Without that framework or advice from mentors, what do I do with my time now?

I've read several articles in which students take time after college to travel abroad, see the world or do something awesome. At the moment, I feel extremely lost in figuring out what I want to accomplish with my time. In my defense, I graduated a little over a day ago. Being the writer I am, I've always cleared my head or come up with ideas by writing them out. To help my figure out what I'm going to do with my life, I've decided to create a list of possibilities.  This document will definitely have to be fluid in the sense that while, one day, I might say I want to travel with another reggae band, I might delete it the next after I realize that I've been there and done that.

Here are a list of things I want to accomplish with my time:

1. Travel to Argentina to see friends in Buenos Aires
2. Visit Rio de Janeiro during Carnival
3. GET HEALTHY
4. Spend a decent amount of time in Cancun to visit friends a relax
5. Volunteer with the Red Cross or other non-profit 
6. Build my credit 
7. Travel to California to spend time with friends
8. Take my Papaw on a cruise to Alaska
9. Get a new car
10. Scuba in Key Largo

Time Will Tell

If there's anything I've learned from my new job in my last month, it's that patience is one of the greater virtues to master in life. I'm fairly certain that it's taken exactly eight hours for the last thirty minutes to pass and I finished my work by nine O'clock this morning. You can only imagine how impatient I am on a larger scale--you know, the one called life. 

As Mr. Marley so wisely chants, only time will tell. However, as boring as this job seems at times, I wouldn't run off calling it "hell" either. Who knows where I'll be in the next year or so. I could still be "gaining experience" or I could be working my dream job in the music industry. The only thing that I'm truly in control of are my choices in life. I've come to realize that every decision, no matter how big or small, impacts every detail of your being immensely. For example, every job that I've had in my short work history has given me something that I didn't have before working there. To further express my point, I've decided to break down the experiences gained from my jobs so that I can look back on it when I'm feeling unappreciative about my current situation. I believe it's important to step back and realize exactly how blessed you are so, in hindsight, I realize my previous post was childish and unappreciative.

Pizza Hut

When I was fifteen years old, a family friend from church agreed to hire me "under the table" as a waitress the summer before my sixteenth birthday. My mom has saved every dime to buy me a beautiful, though used, emerald green Grand Prix and decorated it with a peace sign on the back window and my name on the driver side window. Growing up in small town Kentucky, the popular thing to do for fun was "cruise" town and, lucky me, I was set! My primary reason to get a job so young was to be able to pay for my car insurance, but I also wanted to have a little bit of spending money and "independence".

Pizza Hut was a simple job--bringing out the pizzas and refilling drinks--but it was an extreme stepping stone into adulthood. It taught me to be responsible, to develop a strong work ethic and how to deal with people. I learned a lot about myself during the two years that I worked there and, all in all, I really enjoyed the entire experience. Of course, my position wasn't entirely without teenage drama, gossip and boy trouble, but I learned some very important lessons of what and what not to do and say. When I decided it was time to quit before leaving for college, I actually put in a two weeks notice, which my parents thought was hilarious for a part-time waitress job. Looking back now, I think my position there helped me build character and grow into the responsible adult I am today. 

Shoe Carnival

For some strange reason, when I started my freshman year at Western Kentucky University, I was dead set to work in the mall. I had this image in my head of a stress-free work day, filled with friendly customers and better pay than the tips I had gotten accustomed to. This was an excellent experience for me because it was the exact opposite of my expectations. Growing up as an only child, I was a spoiled rotten brat with no social skills. As an adult, I can own up to that but, at eighteen years old, I still had many lessons to learn about dealing with people. From crazy customers to irate toddlers who didn't want to try on shoes, it was a living nightmare every day. Surprisingly, neither of those describe the worst part of the job or what taught me the most important lesson I'd learn at that time in my life.

Her name was Tammy and she was a new hire. Blonde, bossy and convinced she knew everything, I hated her from day one. I'd been there about three months and had finally gotten the swing of things and made friends with my co-workers when she arrived. My co-workers and I were quick to gossip and decided that none of us liked her or her bad attitude. Much to our surprise, our manager decided that she had excellent qualities to take on a management job and made her our new assistant manager. Being young and naive, I had this crazy concept of seniority and didn't think it was fair that she should be able to take over after only working there a week. The other girls adapted quickly to their new fearless leaders, but I learned a hard lesson about this imaginary concept and soon found myself face to face with my boss who, kindly, told me that he didn't want to fire me, but that I should find another job. I walked out, defeated and defiant, and drove around the city pondering on where I went wrong. Although it might be obvious to readers, it took a few more years of lessons and maturity before I was able to look back and see that experience for what it was--a great lesson of character. I now understand that people aren't granted promotions or positions based on seniority, but on experience and skill.

Montana Grille

Oh Lord, where do I even start? First of all, let me just say that this was my first job after my six-month journey through Mexico with my Argentinian reggae band I met up with in Cancun. I had just celebrated my 20th birthday in Mexico City and traveled down the coast line,  hitting up Acapulco, Puerto Escondido and, finally, heading inland to spend some time in the ruins of Palenque. 

Coming back to home to start a job as a server in the most stuck-up restaurant in Bowling Green, Kentucky was probably one of the biggest mistakes in my young life--or so I thought. The bad thing about traveling abroad is that, while you're running around like a modern-age hippie, bills and credit checks are the last thing on your mind. Reality hit hard as soon as my feet touched the ground in Nashville and I realized that I was probably on the black list of every bill collector, banker and, considering the large amount of time I'd spent in Mexico, the CIA. 

I wanted a position that allowed me the freedom of sleeping in or, eventually, picking up the pieces of my degree, and a serving job sounded perfect! It's funny how jobs always sound fun until you're doing them. I'll never forget my first week there, where I had to complete a test over the menu items and the short hand codes for prime rib, chicken plates and etc. Although, initially, I thought the pristine white, long-sleeved shirts and black pants was a classy work uniform, I soon learned that white was the easiest color to bleach the nightly massacre of stains. Running around with the free-love, no-hate hippies had dulled my social skills and, more importantly, my wit and cattiness needed to work with the short-tempered veteran servers who were not impressed with my adventure stories.

I hated every moment I spent at that job, but the money was incredible and I couldn't beat the hours. In hindsight, I don't regret the time I spent there because it taught me many lessons about teamwork, confidence and learning to keep my mouth shut. Another dollar earned, another lesson learned.

Home Depot

Ah, the Home Depot--such fine memories for such a low paycheck! The three years I spent working part-time as a cashier at the Home Depot were probably the best years of my professional life, so far. The job was mindless, the tasks were easy and the daydreams of busting out the door at full-speed to the car were frequent but, despite this, I absolutely adored my time there. This adoration doesn't stem from the meaningless tasks associated with cashiers, but with the incredible people that made those tasks bearable. The first time I went out, legally, to a bar to celebrate my 21st birthday, I was accompanied by the many fellow-club hoppers I had gathered up from work. As epic as that night probably was (who knows, I don't remember it), it was only the beginning of a fun-filled, booze-filled experience that I'll always cherish. 

So, what life lesson does Home Depot offer? GO TO WORK ON TIME! Sadly, after three years of playing at working, I was "let go" because I couldn't seem to make those 6:45 a.m. shifts. As hard as I tried, I could never convince myself that I was a morning person and, sadly, it's usually a requirement of most jobs. So, from Home Depot, I learned to respect mornings and to be at work on time.

Martin Management Group

I waited for a few months before starting on this section for Martin because I knew that I couldn't truly give an accurate depiction of lessons learned with only a month of experience under my belt. I can say now that, as much as I hate the monotony, I'm happy with my position for now. I was so frustrated with the lack of writing opportunities at first, but I've learned many lessons that will help me in the future anyway. I see that maybe I'm at where I need to be as a writer for the moment--what I need are design skills and marketing lessons. So far, that's what I've got.

Photoshop and InDesign are my new best friends as I work daily on creating "rotators" for websites. Luckily for me, I have a very patient Marketing Coordinator willing to take the time to teach me. I'm becoming a social media tech-savvy ninja as I come up with social media plans for each of our fifteen dealerships. I represent Subaru, Kia, Hyundai, Honda, Harley-Davidson, Chevrolet, Chrysler (and all of its brands) and Mitsubishi. Somedays, I miss the drab boring days of not having projects to finish. My phone is constantly ringing--whether it's dealership employees wanting me to create more content for their website or vendors wanting to set up a sales meeting.

All in all, my quiet office has evolved from a prison with no sunlight, to a shelter from the jobless market, where millions of graduates fight to the death for entry-level careers. I've already dug me heels in and settled in for the long haul (unless something better catches my eye, of course--you've got to keep a sharp eye!)

The Sounds of Silence

When I imagined my first job out of college, I pictured myself at an advertising and public relations agency, much like my Imagewest experience, where I would collaborate with a team to produce creative copy, brainstorm on awesome campaign ideas and, maybe, have the opportunity to explore a new city.

As teachers and parents guide college students in their career preparations, they forget to tell them that walking across the stage to receive their diploma is not the end of their hard work, but only the beginning of starting at the bottom of the next hill of life. They leave college on a wave on euphoria and high expectations and find themselves crashed on the rocks of reality. They're devastated when they receive their 335th letter of rejection from an employer they really felt was "the one" and beyond frustrated when they have to lower their inhibitions and start applying for jobs at a lesser level than CEO.

I say all of this from my own personal journey after college. Although I may have been at the top of my game in college, I had to realize that, in the real world, the competition is fierce and no one ever plays fair. I learned quickly how important networking was, how useless your degree was in comparison to experience and, sadly, how your dream job wasn't always what you started right away.

Currently, I'm working as the Digital Coordinator for the corporate office of multiple car dealerships  in the same little college town I've been in since childhood. Never in my life would I have pictured myself working in the auto industry, but you have to take what you can get to gain the experience needed to move up in the world. I can't say that I enjoy my job. In fact, while I'm being completely honest, I'm absolutely miserable.

Don't get me wrong, I'm beyond appreciative for my position and I always give 110% into everything I do. The thing is, I don't have anything to do. My day consists of reviewing and updating the social media content and websites for the different dealerships and maintaining their online reputation through sites such as Yelp. This sounds like it would take a long time to complete, but I have everything finished in an hour and have another seven to go. For some people, having an entire day to get paid to play on Facebook and browse cat videos would be a dream job. However, I'm way too ambitious, creative and energetic to spend thirty-five hours each week twiddling my thumbs.

To cap off my long-winded whining session that I've been holding in for a solid month, I have to say the worst part of my job is the eerie, overwhelming silence. Outside of the sound of faint clicking of mouses and subtle coughs from the neighboring cubicle, the only sound I hear in my office is ringing in my ears. I just have the impulse to jump up, knock over my chair and climb over the wall and make a run for it. Am I alone? I think not.

I realize that, with my lack of experience, I have to just suck it up and deal with the grunt work until I've made my mark in the industry, but that's the problem--this job offers me no way to gain experience in the first place. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it the other day, how can a lawyer get a job at a law firm if the only prior experience he had was working as a janitor? Being in public relations, I can, of course, put a nice spin on things when talking about my experience with a possible future employer. The problem is not that it doesn't "count" as experience--in the long run, any experience helps a little--it's that I know, deep down, that I'm not gaining anything from sitting here, staring blankly at my cubicle wall, waiting for the clock to roll around to 5.

Between You & Me--Original Song by Brittany Costellow

Hello there, readers! It's been quite a long time since I've posted something, but I've been fairly busy with my new job!! I'll definitely be posting more on it later but, for now, I'd like to post my latest song, "Between You and Me".

I've been writing lyrics since I was a kid and, even though my singing voice and musical ability isn't phenomenal, I've always heard that you can't promote a song with lyrics alone. I'm always up for comments and advice! 

Enjoy!!!

Writer's Block

As I sit here idle, staring blankly at my computer screen, waiting for inspiration to hit me in the forehead, I've realized that my lack of inspiration is caused by nothing more than the lack of spontaneity and adventure in my life. As a recent graduate, I've spent the last five months on a steady schedule full of job applications, interviews, gym visits and late-night Netflix marathons--exciting stuff, huh?

 If I wasn't bored and depressed with the lack of call-backs from possible employers, I was starving for intellectual stimulation or a challenge of some sort. A week ago, I decided it was time to get out of town and head for the beach. I'm not sure about everyone else, but the beach offers a sense of escape and healing that I can't find in my small one-horse town in Kentucky. I knew that I couldn't afford anything more than a weekend trip, but that would be just enough to shake up my spirit and dust off my post-college blues.

There's nothing like the feeling you get when you get that first glimpse of the ocean after an exhausting eight-hour drive. Three of my friends and I took turns driving all night on Thursday and were camped out on the beach by noon on Friday. My closest friend, Angela, had never been to the ocean before and it was entertaining to walk with her into the waves the first time. I was witnessing an important event in her life and I felt honored to be there. The fact that we were both twenty-five year old women didn't seem to matter as the little girls in our hearts took the reigns, as we ran through the waves, splashing and laughing. By the end of the day, we were all sun-tired and sunburned, ready for showers and naps.

The best thing about our hotel, which we found extremely cheap, was that it was super fancy and had it's own little village with shops and bars inside. This village, which is called the Village of Baytown Warf, is located on the bay in Sandestin Golf and Beach Resort. Our hotel room was a long walk from the village but, luckily for us, there was a "drunk tram" that picked us up from our room and took us to the village both nights we were there. Let's just say that we all had an amazing time and made it back to our rooms alive!

After an evening dolphin cruise and a quick trip to the aquarium on our last day in Destin, my friends and I crammed back into my friend's little car for, what seemed to be, a much shorter trip back home. I've only been back for a few days and I'm still enjoying the aftershocks of beach giddiness and nursing a pretty intense sunburn. The best part, however, is that I got exactly what I wanted--something impulsive and random enough to wake my brain from the fog it's been locked in since graduation.

Now that I'm awake, I'm going to do my best to continue to write, whether it's about my impulsive travels or my journey into the professional realm.

Ninjas in the U.K!

Applying for jobs after graduation has been a challenging full-time job in itself. I'm fairly certain that I've applied for every job from Louisville to Miami and the call-backs have been few and far between. Although I've only been out of school for a short two months, I've gotten more and more desperate to start my career with each new day.  

To make matters more complicated, I've just found out that I may have a chance of a lifetime to work abroad in Grantham, Lincolnshire, UK. During my last semester at Western Kentucky University, I worked as the Public Relations Coordinator at a student-run advertising and public relations agency, Imagewest. Each summer, a team is chosen to travel abroad to work for an international client and help them with their advertising and branding. This year, the client is Harlaxton Enterprises and I would have the chance to spend an entire month living on Harlaxton Manor! 

Now for my dilemma: I'm a free-spirited traveler at heart, but there's also a part of me that feels that I need to get the show on the road and jump into a career. Since I have to apply for a chance to be a part of the summer team, there's always a chance I won't get it. However, I've still been tossing and turning about whether or not I wanted to fill out an application to go. The application is due this Monday and time is ticking. 

The trip isn't until June and the student loan people, along with other bill collectors, still expect payment. If I decide to fill out the application to go to England, but then get called in for an interview with an awesome job, what then? Since I've scattered applications across the South (I'm not a cold-weather person), there's a strong possibility that may very well happen. Either way, I have a lot to consider! Check out the castle on Harlaxton Manor below! 

Bad News For Music Lovers

Studying during the last semester of college was excruciating. It wasn't because of dull course work or lack of focus, but because of the constant ringing in my ears caused by tennitus. I had been to a quick clinic, thinking it was an ear infection. The doctor gave me antibiotics to clear up the fluid in my inner ear, saying the ringing was from a blocked tube. I had two weeks of gloriously silent studying.

After graduation, I decided that I had the time on my hands to actually see an ear, nose and throat specialist. I went in thinking that I may be facing some sort of bad ear infection that required the insertion of tubes, but I never thought of anything beyond that. After an entertaining hearing test--I recommend everyone to get their hearing checked--the doctor informed me that I had hearing loss of low tones in my right ear. Just when I started thinking that I could deal with hearing loss of the tones affiliated with whale sounds, he goes on to inform me that I had to have an MRI to check for a tumor on the nerves in my inner ear. Worse, he informs me that my hearing loss appears to be the early onset of Meinere's Disease. What's Meinere's Disease, you might ask? It's an inner ear disease that affects balance and hearing. 

I admit that having a doctor throwing words like "tumor" and "disease" around absolutely scared the crap out of me! I'll even admit to shedding a few tears in the parking lot. What can I say? I'm a music lover! I'm not talking about being a fan of a musician or a band. I have a strong passion for music that cannot be put into words--I can't imagine life without it.  On top of this, I'm a musician myself and can't imagine not being able to hear the tones of my piano or the low pitches on my flute. 

By the time I made it home, I'd come to terms with my hearing loss and decided that I was being petty, selfish and unappreciative of the blessings I had in my life. There are so many people who are going through issues in their lives much worse than mine. I may not be able to get back the hearing that I've already lost, but I can refuse to accept that it's going to get worse. I've decided that I'm going to just believe my prayers leave it in God's hands. 

I don't want to go off on a long-winded, religious rant, but being a Christian in this day and age can be a challenge. People demand proof and evidence of a higher being, but they cannot see beyond their scientific reasoning and understand that a relationship with God required nothing more than faith. I don't mean to go off the deep end--I can practically see people exiting out of my blog right now--but I feel like I should have a right to state my beliefs at well.

Let me just say, I'm not the crazy Westboro Baptist Church kind of Christian! You can ask anyone. I believe that Christianity is supposed to be a faith-based personal relationship with God in which you lead your life as an example to others. My point to all this rambling is that I want to add one of my favorite Bible verses, Ecclesiastes 3, to remind myself that in life there is a time for everything.

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time  to every purpose under the heaven:

 2 A ^atime to be born, and a time to ^bdie; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

 4 A time to weep, and a time to ^alaugh; a time to ^bmourn, and a time to dance;

 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

 6 A time to ^aget, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

 7 A time to ^arend, and a time to sew; a time to keep ^bsilence, and a time to speak;

 8 A time to love, and a time to ^ahate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Big Girl World

This morning, my mom and I had the one of the biggest arguments ever. I've been struggling with my desire to travel versus my desire to start my career, and she couldn't seem to understand why I couldn't just make up my mind. It's just not that easy.

Being in college was difficult and stressful at times, but it came with a guideline of what you need and advisors to guide you in your decisions. Now that I've graduated, it sometimes feels like I'm a little bit lost about what I want to do. I want to travel and see the world, but that takes money or, at the very least, a grant or scholarship. On the other hand, I feel like I need to jump into my career before all of my training and education starts to blur and dissolve and my mind turns to mush. I've never needed an advisor so much in my life! 

I've decided to make an appointment with the study abroad program at my university to see if they can give me a little guidance. I know that their programs are only available for undergraduates, but surely they can push me in the right direction! If not, I'll take it as a sign to move on and start my career. 

Searching for a career is not the easiest thing in the world. It's a full time job without the pay or the benefits. I know this sounds pathetic, but it can be a challenge to make your own decisions and act like an adult! In college, I excelled in my assignments and projects, but I was did well because I was following orders and toeing the line. Now I feel like an explorer without a compass! Universities should consider an "exit counseling" program for their overly-attached students who enjoyed college a little too much.

 I know what I want in life--a job that allows me to travel. More specifically, I want to work in public relations in the travel and tourism industry. I have all of the training and even experience in internships with excellent references. What I need to do now is, sadly, grow up. 

Be The Change!!!

My mom, Bonita McCoy, and I have been accepted as international volunteers to travel to Costa Rica to teach English to low-income communities in San Jose and surrounding areas with the non-profit organization, International Volunteer HQ (IVHQ). 

I'm a recent graduate from Western Kentucky University and have always wanted to volunteer abroad to help make a positive impact while, at the same time, having a chance to travel! For the first time ever, I have the chance to follow my dream! International Volunteer HQ (IVHQ) was formed in early 2007, with the aim of making volunteering possible for everybody through affordable, safe, high quality projects in developing countries.

In addition to providing aid and assistance to these countries, IVHQ endeavors to increase education and heighten awareness through not only the skills and expertise taken by volunteers to their host communities and institutions, but also through the experiences and lessons volunteers will in turn take back to their own countries and cultures.

 Through IVHQ, my mother and I will be making the journey to Costa Rica to participate as a volunteer in their community literacy projects. Costa Rica is increasingly becoming the tourism capital of Central America, meaning English is a prerequisite for all people looking to make a career in the tourism industry and get above the poverty line.

As a volunteer, we will work in local schools, orphanages and community centers. Work varies but generally consists of providing tutoring to local students, setting up small workshops, assisting local teachers and organizing educational games and activities. I've sent more information in a fundraising packet or you can click the link below! Please help us raise money for our trip so that we may have the opportunity to make a positive impact on the lives of others! Thank you!!

Crowdfunding